Really, what am I doing?

I downloaded Microsoft Word onto my computer and... BOOM! 130,000 words later I have a completed full length novel. A novel that took me three months to write. A novel that took me five more months to edit. I literally just ran my hand through my hair like some love drunk teen that doesn't know what to do next. Really, what am I doing?

Everyone tells me it's great and that kind of pisses me off. I want you to tell me it sucks. I want you to tell me what's wrong with it. I want to know what I can do to improve it. Nothing is that easy; nothing is that cut and dried. You know what they told me? Get it published--get it published and send me a signed copy.

I wrote my query letter. It's been sitting on my desktop for about two months. It's a good letter too. I had it all set to send off to Curtis Brown, but then I didn't. I wrote an urban fantasy. It's a genre already far too saturated and I have NO credentials. At least there's not any vampires, but still. I decided to self-publish. Really, what am I doing?

I'm 30,000 words into the second book of the series... Yup, it's going to be a series.

I've done my research. I spent three weeks alone teaching myself how to properly format a Word document into an html. I cringe just thinking about how close my head came to exploding, but hey... now I can link a TOC all by myself. Did I mention that I wanted to self-publish via Amazon and Barnes and Nobles for the Kindle and the Nook? I'd never venture off into the silly realm of paperbacks and hard covers. I told you: I've done my research.

I plan on selling the first book of the series for 99 cents and the ones that follow for no more than $4. I've never spent more than $4 on an ebook and I don't expect anyone else to either. I will publish once the first three books are complete. I'm hoping to hook the readers for the long haul. The long haul? Really, what am I doing?

I'm reaching for a dream... however outrageous it may be. It's been sliding all over the place like a slippery fish, but eventually it's going in the bucket because I'm not putting this one back. That's what I'm doing. :)